Why I Hate the Word “Triggered”
I need to get something off my chest: I hate the word “triggered.” There, I said it. I know it’s become part of our everyday vocabulary, a catch-all phrase for when someone reacts strongly to something they find offensive, frustrating, or anxiety-inducing. But here’s the thing — it drives me up the wall. Every time I hear someone say they’re “triggered,” I can’t help but roll my eyes. (And that’s a respond I choose, btw.)
Now, before you assume I’m just another grumpy Gen Xer clinging to my flannel shirts and mixtapes (though, let’s be honest, those things are timeless), let me explain. The word “triggered” implies that my emotions, my thoughts, my reactions are all out of my control — that some external force is pulling the strings, making me react a certain way. It paints a picture where I’m just a puppet, dancing to the tune of whatever is happening around me.
But here’s the truth: I choose my reaction. Every single time. (Evan when I overreact and I don’t want to admit it, yes even then!)
Yes, life is full of situations that can provoke anger, frustration, anxiety, or even outright offense. Trust me, I’ve been there more times than I can count. But to say that these situations “trigger” me is to give away my power. It’s to say, “I am not in control here. This outside force dictates how I feel and how I respond.” And I’m sorry, but I just don’t buy that. I refuse to believe that I am at the mercy of every irritating person, every infuriating tweet, every controversial news story.
When did we start giving so much power to everything outside of us? When did we decide that our emotions are something that happen to us rather than something we actively engage with and shape? It’s like we’re all walking around saying, “Well, I had no choice but to get mad because of that Facebook post!” Really? No choice at all?
I believe the word “triggered” is an excuse. It’s an excuse to not take responsibility for our own emotions and reactions. Sure, external things can influence us. They can make our blood boil or our hearts race. They can push our buttons and test our patience. But at the end of the day, how we choose to react is on us.
Look, I’m not saying it’s easy. Choosing your response isn’t a walk in the park. It takes a lot of practice, a lot of patience, and a lot of self-awareness. It’s like building a muscle — you have to work at it consistently, even when it’s uncomfortable or downright hard. Trust me, I’ve had my fair share of moments where I wanted to blow up, lash out, or just retreat into a corner with a gallon of ice cream. (Just ask my wife! Honey I love you!)
But I’ve learned that those reactions don’t serve me. They don’t make me feel better in the long run, and they certainly don’t help me grow.
I’m not immune to frustration or anger or any of the other wonderful cocktail of emotions that life throws at us. But instead of saying I’m “triggered,” I try to take a breath, pause, and ask myself, “Okay, what’s really going on here? Why am I feeling this way? And how do I want to respond?” It’s not about denying or suppressing my feelings. It’s about owning them and deciding what to do with them.
The word “triggered” suggests that we’re powerless, that we’re victims to our environment and circumstances. But I refuse to be a victim of my own life. I refuse to let external forces dictate my inner peace. I choose to believe that I am in control of my emotions, my thoughts, and my actions. And if I mess up? If I let something get to me more than it should? That’s on me, too. But I’ll own it, learn from it, and do better next time.
So, next time you feel “triggered,” I challenge you to stop and think. Are you really being controlled by something outside of yourself, or are you choosing to let it affect you in that way? Because I believe that you have the power to choose your reaction. And trust me, taking back that power feels a whole lot better than being “triggered” ever could.
In the end, maybe it’s all about taking a bit more responsibility for how we navigate this messy, chaotic world. And that’s something we can all strive for — no triggering required.
